Why Women Sleep With Men on the First Date

Posted in Dating, Let's be progressive on June 11, 2014 by Sam


Edited on 6/16/14 to add: This post is for people who claim to be seeking a relationship. This does not apply to people looking to casually date; totally different, and sleeping on the first date is, of course, appropriate and allowed if that’s what you’re seeking!

I was talking with a girlfriend of mine the other day, and we decided that over the age of 35, when a woman sleeps with you on the first date, it’s for two reasons only:

1. She’s securing a future with you because she can see that you are financially stable (this goes for broke women as well as women who have money/a good job/career).

2. She has low standards and/or possibly low self esteem.

Look, we aren’t judging. We’re simply calling it like it is. And what this is is quite simple. It’s subtle MANIPULATION .

When you reach a certain age, it’s not JUST about sex – you can get sex anywhere, any time as a woman. So when a woman meets a man and she’s interested in a possible future with him, there’s no reason not to take it slow and get to know him, make sure you truly like him, and make sure that he reciprocates the feelings BEFORE sex. Unless there’s a hidden agenda – you’re in a hurry to get married, have children, have someone take care of you, etc.

We’re not calling women “WHOR-Ena” (this is a “Sam-ism” and is pronounced hor-eena) when we say “low standards”. We recognize that the modern and common trend is to sleep with a man right away to secure your spot. But if you’re secure in yourself and who you are – if you value yourself, you can wait. How many men will you have to sleep with on the first date before you realize that this is not the way to secure your future with a man?

Please remember that we are speaking of women over the age of 35. And, of course, there are always exceptions – sometimes the chemistry is just right and things happen – people even end up married. But this is not the norm. So, ladies, take your time, and men….you were warned, so B E W A R E of that first date sex!

Interesting note:
100 men were polled and asked if they would keep dating the woman if she had sex with him on the first date. 90% of the men over 35 stated no, they would look at her differently, while 10% said yes-if the chemistry was there and they clicked in that way immediately, they would continue to date her, stating that this was much more rare than the norm.


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Posted in Dating, Miscellaneous on April 14, 2014 by Sam

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H a p p y V A L E N T I N E ‘ S D A Y

Posted in Miscellaneous on February 14, 2013 by Sam

I can’t apologize enough for my absence and neglect of this blog. It’s not even that I don’t think about writing because I do…..constantly. And I am going to make it a part of my schedule to come here and write. Today isn’t an extraordinary day for me (as it is for others), but it does give me some pause for reflection: I love writing. And I shouldn’t allow other things in my life to get in the way of that. So I need to make time for it. And I will.

Today isn’t an extra-special day because I believe in showing the people whom I love and care about how I feel on a continual basis. And I have mega-love for the person in my life, but there is a love that is far greater than any other thing, place or person – I hope you all don’t mind me sharing (below), but you know…..this wouldn’t really be Sam’s blog if I didn’t get spiritual every once in a while! (smile) Happy V a l e n t i n e ‘ s Day, my loves!

V a l e n t i n e s Day

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Posted in Miscellaneous on December 23, 2012 by Sam

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Blog Update

Posted in Miscellaneous on December 7, 2012 by Sam

I have been very busy with life since I’m back on my feet and feeling better after my liver resection.

I’ve written a post or two but nowhere near as much as I used to write, so…back to writing! And I have lots of thoughts to write about! (laughing)

I’ll post some over the weekend.

An Extra Special T H A N K S G I V I N G

Posted in Miscellaneous on November 22, 2012 by Sam

This year, I have so much to be thankful for. Actually, I always have a lot to be thankful for, but this year I’m very grateful to be able to write that….to live it/experience another holiday. Just a few months ago, I didn’t think I’d still be here now.

I love where I am in life – I love how grateful I am for simple, small things that I took for granted. Like being ABLE to take an Argentine Tango dance class – able as a verb. I don’t even get annoyed with miserable cashiers or government employees anymore – now I smile at them and say, “You must be having a rough day – I hope it gets better.” It’s something I used to say, but I would say it sarcastically…now I say it with sincerity. And perhaps that’s why when I say it now, I always get a smile. Feels good.

Life is too long to live it without happiness, and too short to live miserably. If you’re reading this, you have L I F E. Live it. Experience it. Feel it. Love it. Be thankful for it. Live with absolutely no regrets.

I’m thankful that I have followers and people who actually enjoy what I write. Happy Thanksgiving my loves!

The Garden

Posted in Miscellaneous on November 18, 2012 by Sam

Preface: I wrote the following letter back in May when it was believed that I might have terminal cancer. I never sent it to the person, but I did actually post it here – privately (viewable only to me). Re-reading what I wrote is bitter-sweet – well, not bitter-sweet, but epiphany-ish-sweet (a new Sam-ism! Lol). It’s epiphany-sweet because just one single event/circumstance changed how I feel. The event doesn’t invalidate what I felt at the time. As I was reading it this morning, I thought that this was such an awesome way to have felt about someone that I shouldn’t keep it to myself. It’s a beautiful and personal short story that I decided to share with my readers:

A few years ago, you took me to some sort of garden where you work. I have no clue where it is, I just remember it was a beautiful summer day in early July, just short of our one year anniversary, and I was laying on my back looking up at you – talking with you, and you were laying down on your stomach next to me on my right…looking down at me. You were laughing, and you had this sort of twinkle in your eyes that I used to love to see – in those days, I saw that twinkle quite often, and it made you even more handsome than you already were because it gave me a hint of how much more beautiful you are inside when you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with me. I don’t remember the conversation. I do remember the atmosphere: I remember how comfortable and happy I was with the sun smiling down on us as we laid there conversing on the grass, surrounded by these tall purple flowers (just like the ones in the ^photo^). I remember the feeling of strong physical desire as I lay next to you with a white mini skirt and a very feminine black polo shirt on – I could feel the palm of your hand, gently caressing my bare thigh. Every now and then, in between our laughter, you’d lower your head and kiss me on my lips…and a few times, I took your hand from against my thigh, intertwined your fingers with mine, then turned it sideways to kiss just below your knuckles – other times I would kiss the middle of your palm, and then put your hand back on my leg where it seemed to belong. None of that seemed to stop our talking or laughing…we never took our eyes off of each other. While the aura that surrounded us was quite erotic, there was, at the same time, this happiness that lingered in the air – it was just as bright as the sun that was shining on us, and though I don’t remember what endearing things we may have been saying to each other – perhaps the words weren’t even romantic as we could have been merely discussing our nine to fives. The important thing that I do recall is that I was laying there thinking how aware and in awe I was of my feelings of intense physical desire, admiration, care, and respect for the man laying beside me; it felt good, but it also felt…uniquely natural…in that moment, I felt real peace, the kind of peace that is rare, but can exist between two people who are emotionally, physically, and spiritually in synch. When I close my eyes now and go back to that place, I can actually still feel that sense of peace that was embracing me…I think it was embracing both of us, and perhaps that’s what the twinkle in your eyes was all about. Those moments…that moment…it was what it was – yes, complex…yet so very simple at the same time. I was so happy to be where I was, and you seemed just as happy to be where you were: together, doing nothing but enjoying each others’ company. It’s a beautiful memory that I didn’t forget, per se, but I also didn’t remember it until very recently, and when I did remember, re-living the memory literally made me catch my breath…I’m still in awe. With every ounce of the old negativity gone, I now realize that for every single hurt, pain, anger, sadness, injustice, or disappointment that I might have felt in the past, not one of those feelings in their individuality or even when they were combined for double strength (they might have attempted to and may have even succeeded to tip the scale for a time), did not, cannot, and will not outweigh the one thing that was always there – refusing to die or go away – no matter how hard I tried, because that one thing was inevitably much stronger:

I don’t need to say what it was, because…you know.

Love, and Love Always, too,

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