Archive for the What men like Category

Yes, Men CAN Be Romantic…

Posted in Bedroom Talk, Dating, What men like on September 7, 2012 by Sam

…and YES, I do know of one who is romantic!

This post relies heavily on mood to really get what I’m saying (writing). I would suggest playing some Ne-Yo in the background as you read it, especially because this song plays a major part in this story, and it’s what I was listening to as I was writing…

“She makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up –
With just one touch…
…And I erupt like a volcano
And cover her with my love…”

I met this wonderful guy but it just wasn’t the right time, I wasn’t interested in dating. I was happy being single as I had just gotten used to being alone after a multi-year co-habitating relationship; I felt like the world was mine. He was perfect…probably too perfect, and perhaps that’s what scared me initially. He was pursuing me for months, but I laughed his advances off. I was out on a casual date – this particular man was also nice, but I wasn’t attracted to him romantically. I was fascinated by his mind and his travels – for example, he was an intellectual property attorney AND a physician who wasn’t practicing in either profession at the time, and he used to go diving in Saba; I had never met anyone who had ever been to that country, so I was fascinated by the idea of someone going down there for 2 days JUST to dive. He was interesting, and a good dinner friend. He knew the best restaurants in the city, too, and so, from time to time, I would accept a lunch or dinner invitation when it fit into my hectic work schedule. While we were dining at a popular post-Broadway theater restaurant, my phone started going crazy. It was the wonderful guy who I was trying to avoid. I excused myself from our private area (every restaurant we went to would section off these huge private areas for him) and went to the ladies’ room. I told Mr. Wonderful that I was out to dinner and that no, I can’t “ditch the corny guy” to meet you in the Village! He kept texting me throughout dinner, and my dinner date did something he had never done before – he asked me if I wanted to go back to his place. After at least 15 lunches and dinners, I guess he figured it was time to ask! Luckily, I had Mr. Wonderful to use as an excuse and told my friend that I already had plans to meet with someone I was casually seeing (okay, yes, I LIED!) and I had to decline his invitation. As I walked to the parking deck to collect my car, I called Mr. Wonderful to tell him I was coming downtown….”Yes – I’ll come meet you!” He sounded extra happy and his enthusiasm actually made me feel a little excited about what was to come.

I met him at one of my favourite restaurants – though I had never been to this particular location as they have two of them -he was having dinner with his best friend and his best friend’s wife. Mr. Wonderful met me outside in a very cute way: Here I am walking down the street with my super heels that laced up my ankles, form fitting jeans, tank top, and a tiny 3/4 sleeve leather jacket – with all of these cat-calls surrounding me; I try to make the best face scowl I can so the cat-calls will stop, and I begin to walk with the NY power-walk – double time fast! Then one of the cat-callers says my name, and tells the other cats to “Chill out – that fine woman is with me.” My scowl softens when I see it’s Mr. Wonderful. I smile at him, and he walks over and takes advantage of the situation by putting his arm around my waist, resting it on the small of my back, and then he kissed me very intimately on my neck; I’m sure to prove his point to the men who were standing nearby. I simply laugh at the whole thing, and he walks me inside and takes me downstairs. I ask, “What’s all this loud music going on? This doesn’t seem like the Negril’s on 23rd!” They had a sort of cabaret thing going on on the first floor, and he tells me that after dinner, they retreated downstairs to dance. I met his friends – the husband was bent down in front of his wife with his face near her crotch, his hands on her ass. It sounds horrible, but the way he was doing it was kinda cute – his wife was looking down at him, laughing hysterically – she grabbed my hand and said, “Hey, girl – Sam, is it? Nice to meet you! This guy has been waiting all night for you – he kept talking about ‘Sam, Sam, Sam’, so I feel like I know you already” and she pulls me close and kisses me on the cheek. I immediately like her. Mr. Wonderful gets behind me and starts dancing…I’ll never forget that the song of the summer, “It’s going down” by Young Joc was playing, and he had me – in heels and all, doing the damn motorcycle dance!

We danced all night, from about 10PM until 2AM- it was nice. Nothing fresh at all, he wasn’t even dancing frisky – he kept bringing me Mai Tai’s and water in between our hip-hop, rap, and dancehall dancing- we’d take breaks and sit for 15 minutes to talk before he’d be dragging me back to the dance floor. I’ll be honest and admit I teased him quite a bit with my gyrating waist and hips when dancehall music was playing – I’m sure he was quite happy when Shaggy, Shabba Ranks, and Sean Paul came into rotation! He took it all in stride and just laughed at my teasing (he’s also Caribbean like me and is quite used to the way the women dance: with our waist, legs, and hips). It had been at least 3 years since I danced like that, and my feet hurt, but I have to say that it was worth it. I had a great time dancing, talking with his friends, and getting to know him. The last dance was a slower song – it was the Ne-Yo song that I suggested you listen to. He grabbed the martini glass and put it on the table – pulled me by the hand that was holding the glass and lead me to the dance floor for the last time. As we danced VERY close with his hands around me – just on top of my butt, he whispered to me that the lyrics in the song was exactly what I do to him and he hadn’t even kissed me yet – that he couldn’t imagine what that would make him feel like. I leaned back, looked at him and smiled, kissed his cheek, wrapped my arms around his waist to pull him closer to me and laid my head on his chest. At that moment, I gave up fighting him. He chased me for about four months…he actively pursued me without hesitation, no matter how many times I said “No”.

One day he decided he had heard “no” far too many times when we were alone. He seduced me in the most brilliant way. Men…grab a pen and a pad – take notes! After an evening out, I went back to his place with him. And as usual, we did….fool around. But this time, he did something different. In the middle of us slow dancing to Kem in his living room, he pulled me by my hand into his bathroom. There was this sexy smelling incense burning, candles everywhere, and there was soft music playing…there was a bubble bath, there were white roses, and there was fruit, a bottle of wine, and a wine glass by the huge jacuzzi bath tub. I was speechless as it was obvious that he had put a lot of thought and effort into the scene but – I was also thinking, ” I KNOW he doesn’t expect me to get in there with HIM!” He must have read my mind, because when I turned to him, he said, “I want you to spend the night with me. Nothing has to happen- I just want you to lay next to me. I want you to relax, and…it’s Friday night, so I know you’re missing your Friday ritual because you went out with me instead.” He actually listened to me – this is how I spend my Friday nights to wind down from a hectic work week – the only thing missing was a book, and he even added fruit – I never had fruit, just wine. I didn’t know what to say…I just hugged him and said, “Thank you.” He grinned – he knew what he was doing. It was probably the most thoughtful thing a man had ever gone out of his way to do for me, yet, it was smart and seductive, giving him what HE wanted at the same time. He left me in the bathroom and told me to call him when I was done. I had done very similar things for my ex-husband, but no one had EVER done anything like that for me. What he did was so moving – so sweet, that it almost made me teary-eyed.

When I was done, he picked me up in my towel, and carried me back into the living room to finish that dance with Kem serenading us

– he had it on pause the entire time as he knew that was a really special song to me…and then it ended and was followed by Ne-Yo. I will leave the rest of the night to your imaginative minds…but, yes, men….with some effort….CAN be very romantic, and yes, thoughtful. Done correctly, it can be the beginning of great things…so, gentlemen:



Do Modern Men REALLY Like Curvaceous Women?

Posted in Miscellaneous, What men like on August 10, 2012 by Sam

In the 1950’s, this body type was considered “perfect” – not the modern size of 2 or even 0. I clearly live in the wrong decade!

The woman’s body in the picture above is HOT. At least to me. This is how women were built in the 50’s; they were truly curvaceous – M a r i l y n Monroe’s measurement’s were 36-23-37. For SOME modern men, that’s borderline overweight. Look at this:

The modern woman’s average waist is 30 inches.
In times past, the average woman’s waist was 27.5 inches.

The modern woman’s average hip size is 36 inches.
In times past, the average woman’s hip size was 39 inches.

Think about that waist to hip ratio. Modern woman, 30-36 – a 6 inch waist-hip difference. A woman from the 50’s/60’s, 27.5-39 – an 11.5 inch waist-hip difference! It’s obvious which woman is shapelier/has more curves! What you see when you look at the women from 50 years ago is a smaller waist and larger hips compared to today – larger waists and smaller hips.

Women today: The beautiful S c a r l e t t J o h a n n s e n’s measurements are 36-26-36. The exotic J e s s i c a A l b a’s measurements are 34-24-34. Their measurements are supposed to be perfect as everything ends in “6” or “4”. The woman who comes closest to old school curvy is JLo, with measurements of 34-26-40- waist to hip difference of 14 inches! But I can do better than JLo with a favourite old school girl…what about the woman that men of all races and ages love – S o p h i a L o r e n? Her measurements are: 38-24-38! She is all “T and A” with a small waist – the true “hour glass” figure. Let’s take a look at her:

Is S o p h i a hot or what?!

As for me, I have to say that I’m proud of my 38-27.5-41 shape! (I’ll admit my 27.5 inches had the help of returning to running and a major illness that caused some weight loss!). If you’re a woman with curves, embrace who you are – embrace being H E A L T H Y! Guys….what are YOUR thoughts on this- are you a straight up and down type of man or do you love women with curves?

“I think the quality of sexiness comes from within. It is something that is in you or it isn’t and it really doesn’t have much to do with breasts or thighs or the pout of your lips.”
S o p h i a L o r e n

My 100th Post! Yay! Let’s C e l e b r a t e!

Posted in Miscellaneous, What men like on June 10, 2012 by Sam

This is a cause for celebration – I’m so happy! And I’m so happy to be writing my 100th post, woo-hoo!

Thank you to all of my followers and readers, thank you for the comments, the compliments, and the questions – even the weird ones!

Writing makes me happy, it soothes me, it’s my escape – I will continue to write, even if no one ever reads this blog! Lol.

Because I love men so much and because I am always accused of being on their side – sometimes, I even get compliments, thanking me for being their “voice”, I know you guys will appreciate me showing you all some love with some pretty cool rules from men to women. I DO love men, and I DO think we don’t support you guys enough, so to all the great men out there, this 100th post is dedicated to you.

Uh, Uh, Uh, With You: The A r t of S e d u c t i o n

Posted in Bedroom Talk, Dating, What men like on June 6, 2012 by Sam

If you’re perplexed by the title, let me help you out: M a r s h a A m b r o s i u s.
Still clueless? Do you remember the group “F l o e t r y” from Great Britain? She’s the other half of that group and she did the damn thing on her solo album, “Late Nights, Early Mornings”.

This is my M a r y J. B l i g e “foreplay” album of 2012…I may lose some of you here, but true R&B fans will understand: it was Mary’s album that you would play when a lusty liaison was calling your name; there is not one person in my age group who is a fan of Mary who hasn’t made some REALLY good love while she played in the background.

M a r s h a, I think, takes it a step above and beyond with her writing skills which displays a certain level of maturity – she has been there and done that. Her sultry and breath-taking voice combined with the words of the songs just……take you there. This is not an album review, per se, this is more of a “this is what you play to set the tone….this is what you play to make a point”. I’m talking to wise gentlemen who appreciate and know how important the art of seduction is.

If you don’t believe that music – GOOD music has an effect on women and how they may react to you and your advances, here is a personal example:
We took two years to get to know each other as friends – friends who were attracted to each other but who were saving the ‘attraction’ part for when we were both ready to explore it. I knew the “first kiss” time was just around the corner, and as comfortable as I felt with him, I was nervous. He planted warm, wet, sweet kisses all over my face, he gently and playfully bit my cheek then kissed where he bit me, and then he gave me the endearing ‘forehead kiss’. Oh, yes – I was turned on. But I still couldn’t seem to shake my nervousness – I kept tilting my face to the other side when he would try to kiss me on the mouth. I laid my cheek against his chest while he held me, and right after he planted another kiss on my forehead, he said, “I’ll be right back.” I heard M a r s h a softly begin to play in the background.

“When I look at your face
I know what I’m feeling
Can’t nobody tell me nothing
‘Cause I know what I’m doing
‘Bout to grab my coat
Put the keys in ignition
Can’t tell you how long
I been wishing for this moment to

Uh, uh, uh, with you…
I wanna uh, uh, uh, with you..”
. *(see note below)

He comes back over to me and holds me again, our bodies begin to gently sway to the music and I’m captivated by the words, her voice, the seductive music….by the moment. I take his hand and lead him to the chair, softly push him in the middle of his chest to sit….I straddle him- my thighs against his – my knees pressed into the chair, I lean forward, give him the ‘forehead kiss’, then I kiss the tip of his nose, I place my hands at the side of his face to bring it even closer to mine (just like the photo ^), and then…

…I open my mouth and kiss him.

We sat there holding each other, enjoying our moment. We talked and continued to kiss each other for the duration of the entire album. We definitely had a “Late Night, Early Morning.” GREAT ALBUM for such times….for good times.

He has M a r s h a to thank for that first kiss. I’m sure he knew what he was doing when he put her CD in, and it’s all good; it was the right thing to do.

So, to my lovely gentlemen readers, music is an aphrodisiac for women. Use it whenever possible…and necessary!

Here’s M a r s h a live. Enjoy! *(See note regarding music below video)

*I do not own or have rights to this music. “With you” is written by
M a r s h a A m b r o s i u s and A l i c i a K e y s.

The Best Lingerie

Posted in Bedroom Talk, What men like on April 12, 2012 by Sam


Everyone who knows me knows that my thing is shoes, but I have another private love…lingerie.  Nothing feels better than walking down the street, perfectly coiffed, making heads turn, and thinking, “If they only knew what I had on underneath this dress!” I FEEL sexy, and it makes me stand taller, and makes me swing my hips just a bit more.

So, I’m going to share a secret with you ladies – the absolute best lingerie, as far as quality and design, hands down:

Aubade Paris

Cosabella Italia.

Did you see the photo on top? Need I say more?

Fellas – if your lady isn’t into lingerie, surprise her with some!  Lay it out on the bed with some rose petals, a bottle of her favorite wine, 2 glasses and some candles so she sees it when she gets home.

As for me, I don’t need a man in my life to shop for lingerie…I like feeling and knowing that I’m sexy, no matter what my status is!

I’ve been graced with a wonderful opportunity to meet with some people for business in Monaco this summer and Rome this fall, and I will definitely try to squeeze in a shopping trip to the Aubade and Cosabella shops – a rare and maybe once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.  But you don’t have to go there to own some fabulous lingerie, they both have websites and you can purchase things online….I would post links but I just noticed the time and I’ve got to run – do a Google search and if you need some help, shoot me a message. See you tonight for Love Letters, and….  Happy Shopping!

In NYC and looking for a super-romantic, educational CHEAP date?

Posted in Dating, What men like on April 9, 2012 by Sam

Photo by Victor Chu, taken at an Orchid Evening at the NYBG.


Fellas (ladies, too), wow your date with a visit to the New York Botanical Gardens.  From March 3rd until April 22nd, 2012, they are featuring “Orchid Evenings at the Orchid Show: Patrick Blanc’s Vertical Gardens”. You will see (and smell!) all of the wonderful orchids on display under the stars- and there are thousands, sip on the evening’s signature cocktail called “The Vanilla Ginger Moon”, all while being entertained by a DJ (depending on the night, either Julio Pezua or Tim Michaels).  While I haven’t personally gone to the evening show, I have attended events at the NYBG, and I can confidently say that you will not be disappointed. I hear that women are being proposed to at this venue, so it must be romantic!  With your entry ticket, you also get up to 20% off or a free glass of wine at participating restaurants such as Sardi’s – a great restaurant in Manhattan’s theater district; good food. I’d hit the restaurant up first, then do the Orchid Show as a night cap.

The best part?  All of this for only $30.00. Amazing!  Education, free drinks, free flowers – I think your night will turn out well- she’ll be using my line, “Wow. Let me say that backwards…WOW!”  Drop me a line if you go and let me know what you think…in the meantime, I’m logging off to go find myself an Orchid Evening date!

Beyonce and Ashanti know how to Get Him to Commit, Part III

Posted in Dating, What men like on November 29, 2011 by Sam

So, you want to get your boyfriend to commit?  If you really read the following lyrics and understand them, you will know how!

Being true to yourself and your own wants, needs, and desires is key. You also need to know when a guy is actually in a place where he is able to commit – he may be a good guy but the timing is off; sometimes, “life” happens, and you need to give him allowances for that.

To get yourself off to a good start, Beyonce has a song called “Upgrade You”.  Practically verbatim, she sings exactly how a woman needs to be to get a man to commit:

You need a real woman in your life,
That’s a good look
Taking care of  home and still fly…
I’m gonna help you build up your account…
When you’re in them big meetings for the mills
You take me just to compliment the deal
Anything you cop I’ll split the bill…
Partner let me upgrade you,
Audemars Piguet you…<a brand of watches>
Switch your neck ties to purple labels <A Ralph Lauren clothing line>
Upgrade you
Partner let me upgrade you –
Flip a new page
Introduce you to some new things &
Upgrade you….

So, in other words:

Be independent, have your own things (your own car, your own apartment or house, a job, etc), be financially independent and able to contribute if necessary, be someone he can be proud of mentally (keep yourself stimulated and develop a sense of humor) and physically (look good, dress well, take care of yourself!), and, yes, maybe introduce him to some things that he may have never known before or thought he could do/say/or be.  Be mysterious!  All of those things require you to be taking care of YOU and focusing on YOU, so that you can learn how to balance being focused in a relationship and how to consider someone else’s needs, wants and desires.

Now how Ashanti can help is more of a private matter:

See the things I possess, a lot of women don’t,
And the things I’mma do for mine, most won’t,
I hear ’em talkin’ bout it when I’m up in the salon-
Cryin’ cause they man ain’t come home, I try to tell ’em…

When my man leaves the house, I know he’s comin’ right back
I got that good good, I got that good good
No matter how much he might try to act, he know just where it’s at
I got that good good, I got that good good

I put it on him right, I do it every night
I leave him sittin’ mouth open like “Whew!”
So, I don’t worry ’bout nobody takin’ mine
Cause I know just the right thing to do….

Let your man be the man when he’s in public,
Even though behind the scenes y’all be runnin’,
Let him run with his boys, let him play his little games,
Let him drive his Cadillac, don’t worry he’ll be back!

Now THAT doesn’t need any translation!

And, if you really want to push him over the edge, every once in a while give him Rick Ross’ line, “I’ll do anything that you say, yes, anything, because…..

….YOU THE BOSS”.  Promise you he’ll love it!

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