Archive for the Bedroom Talk Category

Yes, Men CAN Be Romantic…

Posted in Bedroom Talk, Dating, What men like on September 7, 2012 by Sam

…and YES, I do know of one who is romantic!

This post relies heavily on mood to really get what I’m saying (writing). I would suggest playing some Ne-Yo in the background as you read it, especially because this song plays a major part in this story, and it’s what I was listening to as I was writing…

“She makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up –
With just one touch…
…And I erupt like a volcano
And cover her with my love…”

I met this wonderful guy but it just wasn’t the right time, I wasn’t interested in dating. I was happy being single as I had just gotten used to being alone after a multi-year co-habitating relationship; I felt like the world was mine. He was perfect…probably too perfect, and perhaps that’s what scared me initially. He was pursuing me for months, but I laughed his advances off. I was out on a casual date – this particular man was also nice, but I wasn’t attracted to him romantically. I was fascinated by his mind and his travels – for example, he was an intellectual property attorney AND a physician who wasn’t practicing in either profession at the time, and he used to go diving in Saba; I had never met anyone who had ever been to that country, so I was fascinated by the idea of someone going down there for 2 days JUST to dive. He was interesting, and a good dinner friend. He knew the best restaurants in the city, too, and so, from time to time, I would accept a lunch or dinner invitation when it fit into my hectic work schedule. While we were dining at a popular post-Broadway theater restaurant, my phone started going crazy. It was the wonderful guy who I was trying to avoid. I excused myself from our private area (every restaurant we went to would section off these huge private areas for him) and went to the ladies’ room. I told Mr. Wonderful that I was out to dinner and that no, I can’t “ditch the corny guy” to meet you in the Village! He kept texting me throughout dinner, and my dinner date did something he had never done before – he asked me if I wanted to go back to his place. After at least 15 lunches and dinners, I guess he figured it was time to ask! Luckily, I had Mr. Wonderful to use as an excuse and told my friend that I already had plans to meet with someone I was casually seeing (okay, yes, I LIED!) and I had to decline his invitation. As I walked to the parking deck to collect my car, I called Mr. Wonderful to tell him I was coming downtown….”Yes – I’ll come meet you!” He sounded extra happy and his enthusiasm actually made me feel a little excited about what was to come.

I met him at one of my favourite restaurants – though I had never been to this particular location as they have two of them -he was having dinner with his best friend and his best friend’s wife. Mr. Wonderful met me outside in a very cute way: Here I am walking down the street with my super heels that laced up my ankles, form fitting jeans, tank top, and a tiny 3/4 sleeve leather jacket – with all of these cat-calls surrounding me; I try to make the best face scowl I can so the cat-calls will stop, and I begin to walk with the NY power-walk – double time fast! Then one of the cat-callers says my name, and tells the other cats to “Chill out – that fine woman is with me.” My scowl softens when I see it’s Mr. Wonderful. I smile at him, and he walks over and takes advantage of the situation by putting his arm around my waist, resting it on the small of my back, and then he kissed me very intimately on my neck; I’m sure to prove his point to the men who were standing nearby. I simply laugh at the whole thing, and he walks me inside and takes me downstairs. I ask, “What’s all this loud music going on? This doesn’t seem like the Negril’s on 23rd!” They had a sort of cabaret thing going on on the first floor, and he tells me that after dinner, they retreated downstairs to dance. I met his friends – the husband was bent down in front of his wife with his face near her crotch, his hands on her ass. It sounds horrible, but the way he was doing it was kinda cute – his wife was looking down at him, laughing hysterically – she grabbed my hand and said, “Hey, girl – Sam, is it? Nice to meet you! This guy has been waiting all night for you – he kept talking about ‘Sam, Sam, Sam’, so I feel like I know you already” and she pulls me close and kisses me on the cheek. I immediately like her. Mr. Wonderful gets behind me and starts dancing…I’ll never forget that the song of the summer, “It’s going down” by Young Joc was playing, and he had me – in heels and all, doing the damn motorcycle dance!

We danced all night, from about 10PM until 2AM- it was nice. Nothing fresh at all, he wasn’t even dancing frisky – he kept bringing me Mai Tai’s and water in between our hip-hop, rap, and dancehall dancing- we’d take breaks and sit for 15 minutes to talk before he’d be dragging me back to the dance floor. I’ll be honest and admit I teased him quite a bit with my gyrating waist and hips when dancehall music was playing – I’m sure he was quite happy when Shaggy, Shabba Ranks, and Sean Paul came into rotation! He took it all in stride and just laughed at my teasing (he’s also Caribbean like me and is quite used to the way the women dance: with our waist, legs, and hips). It had been at least 3 years since I danced like that, and my feet hurt, but I have to say that it was worth it. I had a great time dancing, talking with his friends, and getting to know him. The last dance was a slower song – it was the Ne-Yo song that I suggested you listen to. He grabbed the martini glass and put it on the table – pulled me by the hand that was holding the glass and lead me to the dance floor for the last time. As we danced VERY close with his hands around me – just on top of my butt, he whispered to me that the lyrics in the song was exactly what I do to him and he hadn’t even kissed me yet – that he couldn’t imagine what that would make him feel like. I leaned back, looked at him and smiled, kissed his cheek, wrapped my arms around his waist to pull him closer to me and laid my head on his chest. At that moment, I gave up fighting him. He chased me for about four months…he actively pursued me without hesitation, no matter how many times I said “No”.

One day he decided he had heard “no” far too many times when we were alone. He seduced me in the most brilliant way. Men…grab a pen and a pad – take notes! After an evening out, I went back to his place with him. And as usual, we did….fool around. But this time, he did something different. In the middle of us slow dancing to Kem in his living room, he pulled me by my hand into his bathroom. There was this sexy smelling incense burning, candles everywhere, and there was soft music playing…there was a bubble bath, there were white roses, and there was fruit, a bottle of wine, and a wine glass by the huge jacuzzi bath tub. I was speechless as it was obvious that he had put a lot of thought and effort into the scene but – I was also thinking, ” I KNOW he doesn’t expect me to get in there with HIM!” He must have read my mind, because when I turned to him, he said, “I want you to spend the night with me. Nothing has to happen- I just want you to lay next to me. I want you to relax, and…it’s Friday night, so I know you’re missing your Friday ritual because you went out with me instead.” He actually listened to me – this is how I spend my Friday nights to wind down from a hectic work week – the only thing missing was a book, and he even added fruit – I never had fruit, just wine. I didn’t know what to say…I just hugged him and said, “Thank you.” He grinned – he knew what he was doing. It was probably the most thoughtful thing a man had ever gone out of his way to do for me, yet, it was smart and seductive, giving him what HE wanted at the same time. He left me in the bathroom and told me to call him when I was done. I had done very similar things for my ex-husband, but no one had EVER done anything like that for me. What he did was so moving – so sweet, that it almost made me teary-eyed.

When I was done, he picked me up in my towel, and carried me back into the living room to finish that dance with Kem serenading us

– he had it on pause the entire time as he knew that was a really special song to me…and then it ended and was followed by Ne-Yo. I will leave the rest of the night to your imaginative minds…but, yes, men….with some effort….CAN be very romantic, and yes, thoughtful. Done correctly, it can be the beginning of great things…so, gentlemen:

GET ROMANTIC! (smile)

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A Very Lusty Sonnet

Posted in Bedroom Talk, Miscellaneous on June 21, 2012 by Sam

This is one of my favourites…

 

Love Sonnet XI by Pablo Neruda

 

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.

Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.

Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day

I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

 

I hunger for your sleek laugh,

your hands the color of a savage harvest,

hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,

I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

 

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,

the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,

I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

 

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,

hunting for you, for your hot heart,

like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.

Uh, Uh, Uh, With You: The A r t of S e d u c t i o n

Posted in Bedroom Talk, Dating, What men like on June 6, 2012 by Sam


If you’re perplexed by the title, let me help you out: M a r s h a A m b r o s i u s.
Still clueless? Do you remember the group “F l o e t r y” from Great Britain? She’s the other half of that group and she did the damn thing on her solo album, “Late Nights, Early Mornings”.

This is my M a r y J. B l i g e “foreplay” album of 2012…I may lose some of you here, but true R&B fans will understand: it was Mary’s album that you would play when a lusty liaison was calling your name; there is not one person in my age group who is a fan of Mary who hasn’t made some REALLY good love while she played in the background.

M a r s h a, I think, takes it a step above and beyond with her writing skills which displays a certain level of maturity – she has been there and done that. Her sultry and breath-taking voice combined with the words of the songs just……take you there. This is not an album review, per se, this is more of a “this is what you play to set the tone….this is what you play to make a point”. I’m talking to wise gentlemen who appreciate and know how important the art of seduction is.

If you don’t believe that music – GOOD music has an effect on women and how they may react to you and your advances, here is a personal example:
We took two years to get to know each other as friends – friends who were attracted to each other but who were saving the ‘attraction’ part for when we were both ready to explore it. I knew the “first kiss” time was just around the corner, and as comfortable as I felt with him, I was nervous. He planted warm, wet, sweet kisses all over my face, he gently and playfully bit my cheek then kissed where he bit me, and then he gave me the endearing ‘forehead kiss’. Oh, yes – I was turned on. But I still couldn’t seem to shake my nervousness – I kept tilting my face to the other side when he would try to kiss me on the mouth. I laid my cheek against his chest while he held me, and right after he planted another kiss on my forehead, he said, “I’ll be right back.” I heard M a r s h a softly begin to play in the background.

“When I look at your face
I know what I’m feeling
Can’t nobody tell me nothing
‘Cause I know what I’m doing
‘Bout to grab my coat
Put the keys in ignition
Can’t tell you how long
I been wishing for this moment to

Uh, uh, uh, with you…
I wanna uh, uh, uh, with you..”
. *(see note below)

He comes back over to me and holds me again, our bodies begin to gently sway to the music and I’m captivated by the words, her voice, the seductive music….by the moment. I take his hand and lead him to the chair, softly push him in the middle of his chest to sit….I straddle him- my thighs against his – my knees pressed into the chair, I lean forward, give him the ‘forehead kiss’, then I kiss the tip of his nose, I place my hands at the side of his face to bring it even closer to mine (just like the photo ^), and then…

…I open my mouth and kiss him.

We sat there holding each other, enjoying our moment. We talked and continued to kiss each other for the duration of the entire album. We definitely had a “Late Night, Early Morning.” GREAT ALBUM for such times….for good times.

He has M a r s h a to thank for that first kiss. I’m sure he knew what he was doing when he put her CD in, and it’s all good; it was the right thing to do.

So, to my lovely gentlemen readers, music is an aphrodisiac for women. Use it whenever possible…and necessary!

Here’s M a r s h a live. Enjoy! *(See note regarding music below video)


*I do not own or have rights to this music. “With you” is written by
M a r s h a A m b r o s i u s and A l i c i a K e y s.

The Best Lingerie

Posted in Bedroom Talk, What men like on April 12, 2012 by Sam

Image

Everyone who knows me knows that my thing is shoes, but I have another private love…lingerie.  Nothing feels better than walking down the street, perfectly coiffed, making heads turn, and thinking, “If they only knew what I had on underneath this dress!” I FEEL sexy, and it makes me stand taller, and makes me swing my hips just a bit more.

So, I’m going to share a secret with you ladies – the absolute best lingerie, as far as quality and design, hands down:

Aubade Paris

Cosabella Italia.

Did you see the photo on top? Need I say more?

Fellas – if your lady isn’t into lingerie, surprise her with some!  Lay it out on the bed with some rose petals, a bottle of her favorite wine, 2 glasses and some candles so she sees it when she gets home.

As for me, I don’t need a man in my life to shop for lingerie…I like feeling and knowing that I’m sexy, no matter what my status is!

I’ve been graced with a wonderful opportunity to meet with some people for business in Monaco this summer and Rome this fall, and I will definitely try to squeeze in a shopping trip to the Aubade and Cosabella shops – a rare and maybe once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.  But you don’t have to go there to own some fabulous lingerie, they both have websites and you can purchase things online….I would post links but I just noticed the time and I’ve got to run – do a Google search and if you need some help, shoot me a message. See you tonight for Love Letters, and….  Happy Shopping!

The Best S e d u c t i o n

Posted in Bedroom Talk, Dating, What men like on July 12, 2011 by Sam


The root of seduction…where it all begins is in the mind. Also, anticipation creates a certain kind of “air”. If you want to seduce someone, the first step is to get them interested in your mind.

Love letters (I am not talking about email here!) are a great way to seduce. When was the last time you took out your monogrammed stationary, sat at your desk and composed a letter to the source of your affection? If it’s been so long that the container that holds your stationary is collecting dust, I suggest blowing the dust off and get to writing! Be creative. Be honest. Be subtly sexy. Spray your favorite scent in the air and walk through it with the letter so that your letter catches the smell…and ladies….don’t forget to seal it with a kiss (make sure you have lipstick or lip gloss on!).

Read other people’s love letters. Read poetry – some of the best poets for love and seduction are Elizabeth Barrett Browning, E.E. Cummings, Pablo Neruda, and Lord Byron. Very inspiring in many, many ways!

Talk sexy! And if you’re shy, just do it – the more you do it, the better you will get at it. Practice makes perfect.

Ladies: Wear sexy lingerie/underwear under your regular clothes. Not because you have plans later. Do it just because! There’s nothing better than a woman who KNOWS she is sexy and behaves that way naturally and doesn’t PLAN to be sexy, right fellas? ;-). Wearing sexy things makes you FEEL sexy. And once in a while, maybe while out on your highly anticipated night out with that special man in your life, go bare.

Don’t forget the other great seductive tactic: The element of surprise! Surprise him and greet him at the door with his favorite drink/glass of wine in hand….with just his tie on for your attire and some heels. Or be waiting for him after work in a rose filled bathtub (note the orchid bath in the photo above, and orchids smell DIVINE)….make sure there’s music playing in the background and fruit nearby in addition to the candles! Then give him a nice, long back rub. Show up at his job with a picnic basket in the spring or the fall and go on a picnic – surprise him with what you might (or might not!) have on underneath your trench coat! Gentlemen, you can also do these things, these aren’t limited to women, okay? 🙂

Ok, I can’t give them all away – maybe some of you readers will share some of your seducing secrets with me!

What’s wrong with strip clubs and poles?

Posted in Bedroom Talk, Dating on August 11, 2010 by Sam

Ok, really?

I like going to strip clubs every so often, so what? I have a good time when I go with my girlfriends, creating havoc from the jealousy of the dancers as the guys start to pay US attention! But, I especially like it when I go with who I’m dating; oh, you ladies have NO CLUE what you are missing out on when you do this! Get him a lapdance.  Tell him to go tip one of the dancers.  Matter of fact, YOU get up and tip her! You are going to be rewarded heavily when you get home, I promise you that!  But, you’ve got to do it and ENJOY doing it- not because I’m suggesting it or because you want to please your partner and deep down inside you really hate it!  If you are not comfortable with your own sexuality, with your partner, and secure in your relationship, you will NOT have a good time. Let’s not forget that men have high levels of testosterone and that they are visual human beings; if you think your guy isn’t looking at other (attractive) women, you are in for a rude awakening; you need to embrace who men are (if you want one!). I find that there are a lot of women who don’t like the essence of what makes men, well, MEN…women expect to be accepted with their unpredictable moods and PMS, yet men need to “curb” who they are; it’s hypocrisy at a level that is embarassing because I love men! And, there are some women who just don’t like men, period…but that’s an entirely different topic which I’ll write about at some point. By the way, I am not saying ALL men enjoy going to these kinds of venues, because many don’t.  But if YOUR guy is one that does enjoy going there from time to time, maybe instead of being a tad bit on the judgmental and insecure side, maybe next time try going with him or giving him his own private show at home…complete with a pole and all! Speaking of poles…

I do understand that there are some prudish people in this world.  But, I am sick to death of women giving me “the look” when I tell them I take pole dancing classes…you know, that incredulous look that says, “You do WHAT?”  First of all, you burn so many calories – it’s a great workout.  Secondly, it’s FUN! And third, it really does enhance your sexual confidence, and that fosters BETTER bedroom activities for you and your partner! So, where is the issue here? I think I may ask one of my pole instructors, who is also a physical therapist,  to come here and speak on this.

Go ahead and tell me what you really think…I’m ready and waiting!

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