Yes, Men CAN Be Romantic…

…and YES, I do know of one who is romantic!

This post relies heavily on mood to really get what I’m saying (writing). I would suggest playing some Ne-Yo in the background as you read it, especially because this song plays a major part in this story, and it’s what I was listening to as I was writing…

“She makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up –
With just one touch…
…And I erupt like a volcano
And cover her with my love…”

I met this wonderful guy but it just wasn’t the right time, I wasn’t interested in dating. I was happy being single as I had just gotten used to being alone after a multi-year co-habitating relationship; I felt like the world was mine. He was perfect…probably too perfect, and perhaps that’s what scared me initially. He was pursuing me for months, but I laughed his advances off. I was out on a casual date – this particular man was also nice, but I wasn’t attracted to him romantically. I was fascinated by his mind and his travels – for example, he was an intellectual property attorney AND a physician who wasn’t practicing in either profession at the time, and he used to go diving in Saba; I had never met anyone who had ever been to that country, so I was fascinated by the idea of someone going down there for 2 days JUST to dive. He was interesting, and a good dinner friend. He knew the best restaurants in the city, too, and so, from time to time, I would accept a lunch or dinner invitation when it fit into my hectic work schedule. While we were dining at a popular post-Broadway theater restaurant, my phone started going crazy. It was the wonderful guy who I was trying to avoid. I excused myself from our private area (every restaurant we went to would section off these huge private areas for him) and went to the ladies’ room. I told Mr. Wonderful that I was out to dinner and that no, I can’t “ditch the corny guy” to meet you in the Village! He kept texting me throughout dinner, and my dinner date did something he had never done before – he asked me if I wanted to go back to his place. After at least 15 lunches and dinners, I guess he figured it was time to ask! Luckily, I had Mr. Wonderful to use as an excuse and told my friend that I already had plans to meet with someone I was casually seeing (okay, yes, I LIED!) and I had to decline his invitation. As I walked to the parking deck to collect my car, I called Mr. Wonderful to tell him I was coming downtown….”Yes – I’ll come meet you!” He sounded extra happy and his enthusiasm actually made me feel a little excited about what was to come.

I met him at one of my favourite restaurants – though I had never been to this particular location as they have two of them -he was having dinner with his best friend and his best friend’s wife. Mr. Wonderful met me outside in a very cute way: Here I am walking down the street with my super heels that laced up my ankles, form fitting jeans, tank top, and a tiny 3/4 sleeve leather jacket – with all of these cat-calls surrounding me; I try to make the best face scowl I can so the cat-calls will stop, and I begin to walk with the NY power-walk – double time fast! Then one of the cat-callers says my name, and tells the other cats to “Chill out – that fine woman is with me.” My scowl softens when I see it’s Mr. Wonderful. I smile at him, and he walks over and takes advantage of the situation by putting his arm around my waist, resting it on the small of my back, and then he kissed me very intimately on my neck; I’m sure to prove his point to the men who were standing nearby. I simply laugh at the whole thing, and he walks me inside and takes me downstairs. I ask, “What’s all this loud music going on? This doesn’t seem like the Negril’s on 23rd!” They had a sort of cabaret thing going on on the first floor, and he tells me that after dinner, they retreated downstairs to dance. I met his friends – the husband was bent down in front of his wife with his face near her crotch, his hands on her ass. It sounds horrible, but the way he was doing it was kinda cute – his wife was looking down at him, laughing hysterically – she grabbed my hand and said, “Hey, girl – Sam, is it? Nice to meet you! This guy has been waiting all night for you – he kept talking about ‘Sam, Sam, Sam’, so I feel like I know you already” and she pulls me close and kisses me on the cheek. I immediately like her. Mr. Wonderful gets behind me and starts dancing…I’ll never forget that the song of the summer, “It’s going down” by Young Joc was playing, and he had me – in heels and all, doing the damn motorcycle dance!

We danced all night, from about 10PM until 2AM- it was nice. Nothing fresh at all, he wasn’t even dancing frisky – he kept bringing me Mai Tai’s and water in between our hip-hop, rap, and dancehall dancing- we’d take breaks and sit for 15 minutes to talk before he’d be dragging me back to the dance floor. I’ll be honest and admit I teased him quite a bit with my gyrating waist and hips when dancehall music was playing – I’m sure he was quite happy when Shaggy, Shabba Ranks, and Sean Paul came into rotation! He took it all in stride and just laughed at my teasing (he’s also Caribbean like me and is quite used to the way the women dance: with our waist, legs, and hips). It had been at least 3 years since I danced like that, and my feet hurt, but I have to say that it was worth it. I had a great time dancing, talking with his friends, and getting to know him. The last dance was a slower song – it was the Ne-Yo song that I suggested you listen to. He grabbed the martini glass and put it on the table – pulled me by the hand that was holding the glass and lead me to the dance floor for the last time. As we danced VERY close with his hands around me – just on top of my butt, he whispered to me that the lyrics in the song was exactly what I do to him and he hadn’t even kissed me yet – that he couldn’t imagine what that would make him feel like. I leaned back, looked at him and smiled, kissed his cheek, wrapped my arms around his waist to pull him closer to me and laid my head on his chest. At that moment, I gave up fighting him. He chased me for about four months…he actively pursued me without hesitation, no matter how many times I said “No”.

One day he decided he had heard “no” far too many times when we were alone. He seduced me in the most brilliant way. Men…grab a pen and a pad – take notes! After an evening out, I went back to his place with him. And as usual, we did….fool around. But this time, he did something different. In the middle of us slow dancing to Kem in his living room, he pulled me by my hand into his bathroom. There was this sexy smelling incense burning, candles everywhere, and there was soft music playing…there was a bubble bath, there were white roses, and there was fruit, a bottle of wine, and a wine glass by the huge jacuzzi bath tub. I was speechless as it was obvious that he had put a lot of thought and effort into the scene but – I was also thinking, ” I KNOW he doesn’t expect me to get in there with HIM!” He must have read my mind, because when I turned to him, he said, “I want you to spend the night with me. Nothing has to happen- I just want you to lay next to me. I want you to relax, and…it’s Friday night, so I know you’re missing your Friday ritual because you went out with me instead.” He actually listened to me – this is how I spend my Friday nights to wind down from a hectic work week – the only thing missing was a book, and he even added fruit – I never had fruit, just wine. I didn’t know what to say…I just hugged him and said, “Thank you.” He grinned – he knew what he was doing. It was probably the most thoughtful thing a man had ever gone out of his way to do for me, yet, it was smart and seductive, giving him what HE wanted at the same time. He left me in the bathroom and told me to call him when I was done. I had done very similar things for my ex-husband, but no one had EVER done anything like that for me. What he did was so moving – so sweet, that it almost made me teary-eyed.

When I was done, he picked me up in my towel, and carried me back into the living room to finish that dance with Kem serenading us

– he had it on pause the entire time as he knew that was a really special song to me…and then it ended and was followed by Ne-Yo. I will leave the rest of the night to your imaginative minds…but, yes, men….with some effort….CAN be very romantic, and yes, thoughtful. Done correctly, it can be the beginning of great things…so, gentlemen:



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