I have a secret to share…


Trying to think ‘happy’ thoughts, so right now I’m wishing this is where I was eating my breakfast!

…I didn’t sleep last night. At all.  Not the best thing for me to be doing at this point, but I just couldn’t sleep last night. I laid on my back staring at the ceiling, I read, I watched t.v., I did research on the internet for a few hours. I’m not even tired.  I am wound-up and stressed beyond belief, trying to keep it together for my family who seem to be falling apart even worse than I am. I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep my composure for them today at my 3rd doctor’s appointment (a 3rd opinion), but I’m going to try. I think I can do it, but this experience is teaching me something new: sometimes, it’s easy to be strong when you have to do it for other people and not yourself. I think people who are parents are probably very good at this.

I’m still thinking about whether or not I’m going to blog about what’s going on – I already have this blog as well as a tea/etiquette one and it’s actually very time consuming to have one blog, much less three! Still, it’s therapeutic for me to be able to come here and write, especially about things that I can’t or don’t want to share with anyone.  Most people don’t know about my current crisis – even on Facebook, I keep it light, airy, and happy.

Anyhoo, please keep sending me your thoughts/comments, they actually help me as they are a distraction and I really need A LOT of distraction! Today will be a rough day for me and then I’m making sure I go to dance class tonight so I’m not sure if I’ll have the strength to write a Love Letters post since I didn’t get any shut-eye last night, but who knows.  Sam sometimes does the impossible! Lol.

I’m off to prepare for another round of being a pin-cushion…but at least I have two things to look forward to: 1. Afternoon tea at Lady M e n d l’s Tea Salon if my appointment doesn’t last too long/isn’t traumatizing and 2.  I see my last physician for a fourth opinion in Philly on Friday, and you readers know I kinda like that city (for those who don’t know, I lived there very briefly) – they’ve got some great dive bars and restaurants. Lately, I’ve been drinking a lot – a lot for ME equates to one strong drink every night.  Hmmm…dive bars…I think I’ll go to that visit without the ‘rents! Lol. And for those who don’t know, there’s great strip clubs in Philly. There’s a really good strip club very near U of Penn where I’ll be….hmmm!!

See you either later this afternoon, tonight, or tomorrow morning for Love Letters…..be good to the people who matter to you and to the people who have been good to you that you may have forgotten about; none of us know how long we have here on God’s Earth and I’m definitely living my life as if each day is my last, everyday I wake up, life gets my full attention and all of the enthusiasm and passion I can muster up.

🙂

“The desire to write grows with writing.” Desiderius Erasmus

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