Love Letter 22 – A Lesson Learned


Wow. I can’t believe I’m already on day 22. I have to say that re-living this story continues to be an enlightening experience.

So, The MIC decided he didn’t want to go to D.C. anymore as he felt as if he needed some respite and went to a cabin to be alone.  I didn’t believe him, so I sent him an email and attached a tag to it- it’s a program my employer at that time used to make sure important emails were delivered; it tells you it was delivered and where it was received.  My email to him was received in Washington, D.C., not in a cabin somewhere in the boonies.  He lied to me.  Blatantly.

I asked him about it to see if he would confess but he didn’t.  I ended up having to tell him that I knew where he was, and I had to tell him how I found out. He was angry with me, for obvious reasons.  I felt like I had no choice- I needed to know the truth and he wasn’t giving it to me. He explained that the reason why he lied was because he didn’t feel like he could tell me he wanted to be alone without me getting angry.  That made me sad because I would have understood that, but he didn’t give me a chance to show him that I could be understanding, even if I was disappointed.  But I was so angry that he lied, that was my focus – it made me wonder what else he may have lied about.  Was he lying now? Was he lying about his feelings?  We were  both angry with each other and we went to bed that way.

The next day, he apologized for lying.  I accepted his apology and I also apologized for tagging his email – I let him know that I knew that was wrong and I understood why he was angry about me doing that. We were both wrong but willing to forgive each other because I think we both understood where the other person was coming from. As I hinted in the previous post, today, I understand even more why he lied. Yes,  he should have been honest, but I was so focused on myself and going on the trip that I couldn’t see anything else; I was in a selfish place.  I understand why he thought I wouldn’t be happy about him deciding to go alone, and I totally get why he chose to do something that would stop the situation from escalating as it was already bad. We kept talking and trying to move forward but he didn’t want his “boyfriend” title anymore.  He said he couldn’t be that to me any longer and that he just wanted to be plain friends. I was upset about that but didn’t say much about it. I told him I didn’t like how he  sounded and that I wanted to come see him and maybe we could do lunch or dinner – I felt like I needed to see him and make sure he was okay, even if it was just as a friend.  I have three very good friends who live in the D.C. area and I told him I would stay with one of them if I drove there. He was iffy about me going there but ended up saying he felt it was okay for us to meet for dinner.

I drove to D.C. and met him where he was staying. His leg was hurting so I immediately told him to give it to me so I could massage it for him.  He sat in the chair and I sat on the floor rubbing his leg. Somehow we ended up laying in bed – innocently- and we had a good heart to heart.  We decided I’d stay with him for the night.  We went out to dinner, we laughed and joked as we usually do, and it was almost as if we never had a fight. We went back to where he was staying and had probably the most memorable make-up sex we had ever had, followed by some “don’t ever lie to me again” morning sex. We had breakfast and then he went into town to do some work. I decided to go to Maryland to meet with one of my girlfriends and stopped to have lunch with Mr. MIC. It was the first time I had a Bento box.  We sat outside on the patio and a one hour lunch quickly turned into two hours.  I kissed him goodbye and left for my train.

I went back to D.C. later that evening and  he asked me to go with him to Pennsylvania the next day so we could spend one more night together and I agreed. The next day we drove to PA – I don’t remember where, but we spent a quiet evening together – we were both tired after the drive and went right to sleep, which is unusual for us.  In the morning, he more than made up for the non-love-making night.  During those very intimate moments, he said things to me that were so endearing, that I still remember them to this day. It wasn’t anything like “I love you” – it was…..deeper than that. That’s all I can say about it. Another thing I can say is that I learned a hard lesson  from this fight: never put yourself in a position where you allow the person you love to feel as if they can’t trust you enough to be honest because you don’t have the ability to see past yourself.

We said our goodbyes and we were in such a good place from having spent such good quality time together that the fight became insignificant. I had my MIC back and as I drove away to go home, I noticed that the sun was shining brightly and I felt happy because in a way, we DID get to celebrate that second anniversary.

See you later tonight for another Love Letter.

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