One Guy’s view on “Oh, you thought he was committed?”


A gentleman whom I know who wishes to remain anonymous, happened to read my “Oh you thought he was committed to you? post, had a few things to say about what he thought of my view on exclusivity vs commitment. For the record, he is a very well-educated, single man in his late 30’s, with no children, living here in the good ole’ US of A. And quite handsome, I might add! Here is what he had to say:

*HE SAID: “Awesome post! I usually don’t like/read blogs – especially. those about relationships, but…”

I SAID: “When he asks, and he WILL ask why you want to end things…”

*HE SAID: “I’ve had women cut me off – and I don’t ask them why because I was so far from committing to them that I didn’t care/notice when she stopped calling. Soooo, such a woman should definitely follow your advice. If she was looking for a commitment, she did the right thing. But if she was expecting the man to ask… in some situations, there’s gonna be disappointment. Again – all of your advice holds – I just wanted to alert you to the fact that there are some women out there who are so far gone that they might not even be able to provoke a guy to even ask her why she cut him off.”

My comment on the above: YIKES! Did you notice what he said about a woman being “so far gone”? Take note, ladies! Hold on…he’s not done yet…

I SAID: “…the older you are, the SHORTER this time should be – hopefully you won’t allow it to go on beyond 6 months…”

*HE SAID: “This makes total sense. But I think you need to emphasize again that it is pointless to actually ask the guy to commit – and definitely not when you are out for dinner. When I date women in their 20s, we have a great time at dinner. When I date women in their 30s, it’s common for them to start feeling me out for a commitment *on the first date!* Their time horizon is so short that they don’t even give us a chance to know each other – and have a fun date – before the constraints kick in.”

I hope you take note of the bolded and underlined comments!

He finished up by saying how much he liked the post, and I asked him if I could share his thoughts with the ladies, and he gave his permission, providing I kept him anonymous.
Well, there you have it – straight from the man’s mouth – a man’s mini-perspective on commitment!

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