Do women REALLY like men? Did feminism kill chivalry?

More than half of my male married friends and associates have shared with me the fact that they can’t be themselves with their wives. This lead me to some astonishing research, hence the 2 questions I posed: Did feminism kill chivalry? Do women like men? If you were to look up the term “women hate men” in Google, you might be surprised at the amount of hatred against men that you find – there are some serious, and quite a few misandrists among us!

To expand on the statement I made about husbands who can’t be themselves…what is happening there? When your husband or life partner wants to go cut up with his boys once per week – what is wrong with that? When he has his boys over once per month to play cards or dominos and they are yucking it up – why does that bother some women so much? If he forgot to fix the washing machine that you asked him to fix last week, why do all of your girlfriends and your parents have to know about it, too – why isn’t it a private issue? When you’re out for dinner with some other friends who are married – why do you have to call your mate out on some random thing and embarrass him? If he doesn’t want sex, he’s cheating. If he wants it regularly, he’s a sex addict. If he just got in from work and you run off a laundry list of things that need to get done as soon as he comes in through the door and he asks, “Can you just give me a minute to breathe?” You get an attitude for the rest of the evening and night, complaining that he never wants to talk. None of these behaviors indicate that these women like men. And all of these examples that I have given are stories that I have heard directly from men. Some of us just shrug it off and say they should get over it. Some of us don’t even notice. And some of us just want to keep the status quo, so we try to appease our partner to make him “shut up”; then we go right back to the way we were before. And some of us? Some of us just plain don’t care because we did what we needed to do: we got the “decent” husband, we did the kid (or kids) thing, and we are now guaranteed half of the social security and the pension – he had better cater to US!

What has happened to some of us women here? Do we know what we really want a man in our lives for – have you asked yourself that question? Is it because you really like men and you met one that you really adore, or are you conforming to what society tells you you need to do to be considered “normal” and deep inside, you never really wanted a man, a relationship, or too much sex, but were seeking the approval of society and the benefits that having a marriage or long term partner brings? Do you just not want to be alone? I challenge you to think about it.

And, lastly, I’m all for equal rights for women, but have we women taken it too far? Have we become so focused on getting justice for former (and in some cases, continued)) transgressions that we have forgotten that we are women who are indeed feminine who actually do appreciate good men? As a black woman, I strongly believe in Equal Employment Opportunity and, yes, Affirmative Action (I wish we didn’t NEED Affirmative Action and that we could get by solely on merit, but in my former years as an HR Generalist, trust me, I found that it WAS and IS still needed!). To take that a step further, as a black woman, I believe that we need to always remember to take precautions against the potential of racial bias, therefore, that causes me to never forget who I am, and that is a BLACK WOMAN; I embrace, and am proud of who I am – I don’t always believe I am being discriminated against, so why should I always assume that because women, gender-wise, have been discriminated against in the past, that my male counterpart is making more money than I am? Which leads right into the following questions: What happened with the feminist movement that was intended to protect the rights of women? What caused feminists to forget to embrace their womanhood and therefore caused a few of them to become misandrists? Why did feminism make it so wrong to want a relationship or a marriage? So wrong to appreciate men for who they are? So wrong to desire a man who is a gentleman and behaves chivalrous with us? So wrong to say, “Yes, I WANT him to open my car door” or “Yes, I love it when he pulls out my chair for me and orders for me at dinner” or “Yes, I appreciate and want a man who walks me to my car when it’s late”. Why can’t we fight for our rights as women and STILL be a FEMININE woman who actually likes men and likes being treated well by them? I don’t get it…perhaps someone can explain this phenomenon to a non-feminist woman?


2 Responses to “Do women REALLY like men? Did feminism kill chivalry?”

  1. Ana Wasner Says:

    Just love this point of view. Thank you.

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