Online dating? Uh…no, thank you! (Poll inside)


I actually think online dating sites are a great (additional) avenue for meeting people.  But I still don’t like it.  It’s not that I had a problem “meeting” people.  The problem was the people!

Human beings are weird and flighty.  One guy would brag about how much money he makes – and by the way, I have an issue with people who list their salary in their profiles- especially men; seriously, I really do want to know what is UP with that line of thinking- can someone enlighten me? One guy sent me photos of his new BMW (I didn’t tell him what I drive, which is way better! Laughing).  One guy requested I spend the night with him after our upcoming FIRST date! I definitely cancelled that first date with him; what a maroon.  Yes, MAROON! One guy told me I looked like I was “wild in bed”; is he serious?  Like I said…weird and flighty.

I met very, very few men- two to be exact – and even though neither of them materialized into anything serious, they are great men who I will probably be friends with forever.  I realized I’m just too darned picky.  Not in a “looks”, “status”, or “education” kind of way.  But, here you are, trying to meet a woman, yet you can’t write in proper English when English is your first language?  In today’s age of technology (hey, I AM blogging here!) when there is spell and grammar check?  First impressions are everything! Come on, people. And what about the people who write an email or a letter as if they’re texting? “C U 2morrow?” Uh…survey says, “XXXX!!!” It’s “See you tomorow.” The last dating site I went on, I received 200 new interests; do you know, out of 200 men, only TWO of them wrote in proper English? TWO! Sigh.  I love QUIET, geeky, intellectual men, and you know what?  They’re not looking for women online! They’re too busy doing their geeky, intellectual work (or pursuing interests), waiting to be pounced on because they are shy, or if they’re an “enlightened” geek, they’re PRETENDING to be shy!.

So…online dating is an awesome tool to utilize for the man and/or woman who is busy and doesn’t socialize enough to meet people. But I have one question for you ladies and gents…do you think I’m TOO picky in this circumstance?

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5 Responses to “Online dating? Uh…no, thank you! (Poll inside)”

  1. If I had more options in the poll, I would’ve picked “Effectively judging people based on their dating site profile is almost always impossible”. With the obvious exception of the extreme cases you quoted, of course. Lots of people type in txt-English on the internet because they read other profiles and think “oh, looks like that’s the way things are done around here. I’d better follow suit”.

    • That’s true; you really cannot get a good idea about what someone is like solely from their dating profile. I do understand that some people think it’s okay to write in “text style” because so many others do it, but that doesn’t mean that we SHOULD write that way, especially when writing your profile on a dating site. Thank you for the comment, aRedditor.

  2. Great post, and you sound like the kind of person I am looking for (this is not a comeon, you probably live far away and I don’t do long distance), but I am struggling to find what people like you look for. You really should do a follow up post giving a guide of what you would like a shy geek to say to show he isn’t just some jerk and actually wants to be friends before anything else.

    I have just started on okcupid after taking a break of over a year off from dating. It was my first time on a dating site.

    Noticed this person visited my profile so I checked theirs, and they just talked about their feelings and how they would like someone to talk with, but didn’t say anything about what they liked. Same age, 85% match, all hidden questions. Abridged actual exchange:
    ME: I liked your profile…would love to chat…what are you passionate about?… I like…
    THEM: I DON’T REALLY HAVE PASSION FOR ANYTHING ANY MORE. (yes all in capitals)
    ME: I bet you do, I bet you have fascinating thoughts about the world…I promise I won’t laugh…[inspiring things I think (NOT SEXUAL, but personal)]…
    THEM: YEAH I USED TO BE LIKE THAT. I WISH I DID HAVE SOMETHING YOU COULD LAUGH AT.
    ME: Today [Funny thing that happened today that made my boss look foolish]…
    THEM: EHHHH YEAH OKAAAAAAAAAAY….. AAAAAND?
    ME: Sorry, I just thought you might find that funny.
    THEM: WELL IT WAS WEIRD, MADE NO SENSE, DOESN’T REMIND ME OF ANY BOSSES, TAKES TOO MUCH EFFORT TO REALLY UNDERSTAND. MAYBE IF I HAD A JOB I WOULD.
    THEM: AND I THOUGHT I WAS SHOWING HOW MUCH THAT WEIRDED ME OUT
    ME: Sorry, I guess I’m not very good at this. I wont bother you again.
    THEM: NOPE, NO ONE IS.

    Ouch. Irrational, I know, but it took me three days to recover while going though some rather horrid depression. I am back up and trying again, but I am now wondering if I should have a profile and message that presents my heart on a plate at all. Putting in a piece of yourself and trying and getting rejected is way worse than putting in no effort and being ignored. And chances are 9/10 messages will be ignored. It is very easy script something to send everyone within 100 miles of me a message saying “WANNA FUCK?”, and even when you get abuse, you don’t get hurt as it wasnt a personal message.

    I dare you to set yourself up as a guy, and do your best and then post about that, or show us what we should be doing.

    • Thanks! What you may find interesting is that I actually DID do a male profile, just to test and see if men were actually right in some of their complaints about online dating in that women aren’t serious and are just as flaky. Turns out they were right!

      In your situation, once I received the message with all caps saying that she isn’t passionate about anything, I would have been done; to me, that person is just too disinterested. In everything!

      Thank you for your comment, Charlie.

    • damn. LOL.

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